Did you know there are two masters in the world? Well, I had a rude wake-up call when I was praying the Liturgy of the Hours today.
There was a section I came across in the responsory.
Elijah approached the people and said: “How long will you straddle the issue by advocating two different opinions?”
I responded with, “If the Lord is God, follow Him.”
That was already a rude wake-up call.
The second part was a huge brick being thrown at me.
“No one can serve two masters; you cannot serve God and money.”
God and Money
Yeah… I’m not for worshipping money. I don’t chase it in the sense that I want wealth.
But… I like to have that sense of security. To me, money isn’t something I want. It’s something I need. I need it to pay back my student loan debt so that I can pursue my vocation.
I have a lot of student loan debt. I mean a lot. And it’s hard to enter the priesthood with debt, let alone a religious community. So I saw money as something to use to help me to follow God.
Yet I think God was trying to shake me out of my mindset. I was too focused on paying off that debt. I was too focused on finding different ways to pay it off. I wasn’t relying on God but on my own means.
I was being pushed. God was challenging me to rely on Him. He will lead me down the path I must go. It’s true that I absolutely want to get rid of my debt so I can jump right into a religious community or apply for the diocesan priesthood… I just wanna jump right in.
However, I feel God is telling me to slow down. This is a time I am forming you. You will get there when you get there. It’s on my time, not your time.
But I would be lying if I said it didn’t hurt. It does hurt to have a desire to serve God yet being held back by student loans. But, I know if I trust Him, the money will come, not by my will, but His will.
It’s true; you can’t have two masters. You can’t have God and money. You can’t have God and yourself.
Lord, I see you. Help me to see You. Lord, I trust you. Help me to trust You.